This correlates to how Má had grown up in a neglectful household where her mother would ignore her, which led to feelings of isolation. Thi Bui talks about her mother’s difficulties accepting her daughters’ partners as she fears they’ll be taken away. The relationship between Má and her daughters is surrounded by her trauma of isolation and abandonment from her childhood. Thi Bui describes her mother as a “heroic” “Vietnamese Princess” who sacrificed everything for the sake of her children. Thi Bui views Má as a role model due to her role as the sole provider, her mother acted as the foundation that held the family together. Throughout this story, Thi Bui is seen comparing her struggles with her mother’s as she feels insecurities about being a good mother like Má. Much of this is reflected in how she reacts to Thi Bui’s pregnancy, as she begins recollecting the pain of physically birthing a child and losing her children to unfortunate circumstances out of her control.

The image of childbearing is prevalent throughout Má’s story, as a lot of her trauma is rooted in her first child dying of disease and her fourth being a stillbirth. The closing scene shows Thi Bui hugging her mother as she questions how she was able to do it “six times”. Amidst this, Thi Bui emphasizes to the doctor that she had no desire to be put on drugs as she felt that she would not be able to measure up to her idealized image of a mother (based upon Má) and would once again be forced to become the child (making others take care of her). The story begins with Thi Bui in the hospital, as her mother (Má) awaits outside the room, unable to stomach the sight of her daughter giving birth. “Family is now something I created and not just something I was born into.” pg.21 Thi Bui’s graphic novel, The Best We Could Do, discusses intergenerational trauma and how we come to understand our parents’ deep-rooted wounds as children of Vietnamese immigrants in America. What I didn’t realize then was that her traumatic experiences painted me in the mirror image of herself. Growing up I was often told that I was exactly like my mother. *Content Warning: subjects discussed include sexual violence, trauma with childbirth, abuse, mental health and neglect*

Intergenerational trauma refugee